


With her straw blonde hair, her arms hard and lean

by magicmoths



Category: DCU, DCU (Comics), Teen Titans (Comics), Wonder Girl (Comics), Wonder Woman - All Media Types, Young Justice (Comics)
Genre: Aromantic Asexual Bart Allen, Ask me about my trans cassie agenda, Bisexual Cassie Sandsmark, Bisexual Kon-El | Conner Kent, Damian Wayne punches transphobes pass it on, F/F, I'm trans and wanted a trans Cassie fic and this happened, Pansexual also works but there's not a tag for that, Trans Cassie Sandsmark, background one-sided Cassie Sandsmark/Cissie King-Jones, it's only a couple lines but it's there, no beta we die like robins, slight Cassie Sandsmark/Conner Kent, slight transphobia warning, which is kinda wack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-15
Updated: 2020-10-15
Packaged: 2021-03-08 18:21:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,505
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27031093
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/magicmoths/pseuds/magicmoths
Summary: Secret, when she starts coming around, has a tendency to make Cassie sad. Not because Secret’s an overly sad person, the contrary could be said really, it’s most that her circumstances make Cassie sad.But, in a way, Cassie relates to her a little bit.(She doesn’t really know who she is either.)At least Cassie knows her name.(Suzie is a cute substitute, though.)
Relationships: Cassie Sandsmark/Tanya Spears, Tim Drake/Kon-El | Conner Kent
Comments: 6
Kudos: 21





	With her straw blonde hair, her arms hard and lean

**Author's Note:**

> There were a sad lack of trans Cassie fics and so I've decided to try and fix that.
> 
> Let's get this bread.

Cassie is 9 when her name starts to make her twitch. When the color blue starts to make her recoil. 

She starts to be more aware of the nicknames people called her. “Little boy” and “son” soon became her personal enemies. 

She didn’t know why, just that she didn’t like it. That she didn’t feel like a boy, not really.

She didn’t hate her clothes or her short hair, she just wasn’t really a fan of what came with them. 

Naturally, she goes to her mom for answers.

Helena Sandsmark is a woman that loves facts, loves straight answers. Loves her child, making her want to fix whatever upsets Cassie.

But when Cassie told her about how she felt, Helena didn’t quite know what she was supposed to do. Regardless, she tries her best to do whatever she can to make Cassie more comfortable. 

She starts calling Cassie her daughter. Uses she/her pronouns when talking about her.

She takes Cassie shopping, lets her pick out the clothes she wants. She watches as Cassie stares at the isle of skirts before asking what Cassie was thinking of.

Cassie tells her that she wants the skirt but that she didn’t like not having anything besides underwear underneath. Says that she still wants to be able to climb up on tall things and to be able to swing in them. 

Helena asks a worker for help and is directed to skorts. They’re skirts mixed with shorts. 

Cassie loves them.

She picks out skorts that are baby pink with flowers, soft yellow with suns and some purples with hearts. 

Helena complements them and Cassie beams.

One day out of the blue, Cassie tells her that she doesn’t like her name. 

Helena looks over at her child and notices how tight Cassie’s shoulders are. How her knuckles are white where they’re clenched into fists. 

(She thinks that this may not be so random after all.)

Helena gets out an old book of baby names that had been gifted to her before Cassie’s birth and goes through it with her.

After not finding one that Cassie deems “fitting” for her, Helena breaks out a book of Greek myths.

Cassie goes through it with a face of intense concentration, tongue sticking slightly out of her mouth. 

She stops at the myth of Cassandra of Troy. 

She traces the words of the story with light fingertips before turning to her mother. 

“Cassandra,” she tells her. “My name is Cassandra.” 

Helena asks if she would like to use “Cassie” as a nickname. 

Cassie smiles at her mother.

“It’s perfect.”

“This is my daughter, Cassandra.”

Anything to keep that grin on Cassie’s face.

Diana Prince comes into their lives in a flurry. She’s tall, with brown skin and black hair. 

Cassie thinks she’s beautiful.

(Cassie wants to be her, with her red painted lips and nails. Not a strand of her long, long hair out of place.)

Her mother introduces them and when Ms. Prince doesn’t hesitate to call her Cassandra, doesn’t look at her out of the corner of her eyes with judgment of veiled disgust, Cassie wants to jump up and down in joy.

(Instead, she locks this memory in a little part of her brain and wills herself to never forget it. Wills herself to think about it when older ladies put their noses up to her.  
When the kids at her school call her names for being different. 

She locks the memory up and vows to never let it go.)

When Diana asks to train her, to make Cassie her Wonder Girl, Cassie doesn’t even have to think about her answer.

The Amazons of Themyscira are intimidating. They carry sharp weapons and decades of knowledge on them. 

They train her. They teach her responsibility and tactics that will help her in battle.

They never once misgender Cassie or call her by the wrong name. They never doubt the fact that Cassie is a girl.

Cassie loves every second of her time with them. She thinks that this must be what having older sisters is like.

Cassie is fourteen, almost fifteen, when she first meets the members of Young Justice.

(She wears a black wig and goggles, a symbol of peace stretched across her chest. She feels on top of the world. 

An undoubtable girl.

She’s not so sure about the wonder part yet.)

Superboy has curly black hair and inhumanly bright teal eyes. He’s cocky and confident, flirting with her and Arrowette any chance he gets. 

(There’s something dark in his eyes that makes her wonder how it got there. 

She doesn’t ask and he doesn’t tell.)

Impulse is, well. Impulsive. He runs headfirst into situations without thinking of the consequences and is faster than anyone she’s ever seen. He’s energetic and when he smiles it’s with his whole face. His eyes are golden and his hair is a huge clump of brown on top of his head. He reminds her of a ferret.  
(There’s something sad about him as well, but again. It’s not her business.)

Robin has black, black hair and wears a green mask that covers his eyes. He’s quiet most of the time but unafraid to get into arguments with Superboy when aggravated. He’s their team leader and she thinks that maybe, just maybe, he’s becoming their friend as well. 

(There’s a chip on his shoulders that she hopes won’t one day become large enough to crush him under its weight.)

Arrowette is tall with long blonde hair and gray-blue eyes. She’s strong and unyielding. Her arms are muscular from using her bow and her eyes are sharp.

(Cassie would be lying if she said she didn’t have the slightest of crushes on her.

But really, can you blame her?)

Secret, when she starts coming around, has a tendency to make Cassie sad. Not because Secret’s an overly sad person, the contrary could be said really, it’s most that her circumstances make Cassie sad. 

But, in a way, Cassie relates to her a little bit.

(She doesn’t really know who she is either.)

At least Cassie knows her name.

(Suzie is a cute substitute, though.)

“God, my mom’s going to hate this skirt with a passion,” Cassie says, looking at her red mini-skirt in the mirror. 

“Who cares?” Cissie says. “Superboy won’t be able to take his eyes off it.”

(Cassie ignores the part of her that wishes Superboy weren’t the only one looking at the skirt.)

“Um, Arrowette, promise not to tell the others that I like him?” Cassie asks.

“Only if you don’t say who I like, Wonder Girl.” 

(Man, Cassie wishes it were her.)

“Of me?” Cissie asks, surprised. “But you can fly! You've got super-strength! I was jealous of...you…”

They stare at each other for a moment, smiling. 

Cassie decides to break the silence by taking a leap of faith.

“My name’s Cassie.” 

“No kidding, I’m Cissie. That’s practically the same. Cool.”

Cassie almost feels afraid that her face will fall off if she smiles any wider.

Cissie teaches Cassie to paint her nails, her mom having been even more busy lately and the Amazons not very familiar with the act. 

They’re red with yellow stars. She loves them a lot. 

It all falls apart with a single arrow.

Cissie is laying on Cassie’s bed, unresponsive. 

Cassie doesn't know what she’s supposed to do.

Cissie’s leaving the team and Cassie feels like crying.

(She hopes that they can still stay friends.)

Empress is spelt across the grass in the yard. 

Rob was clearly trained by the world’s greatest detective.

(Empress can’t be Cissie, right?)

(Right.)

Anita Fite has dark brown skin and dark, dark hair. Her eyes are a striking purple.

It seems Young Justice has just gained itself another member. 

(Thank goodness she’s a woman. 

There was way too much testosterone with Cissie gone.)

Despite the crap she gives them, Cassie grows to love them all.

(They become a part of her family and her a part of theirs.

She wouldn’t have it any other way.)

Cassie has started to grow her hair out. It’s nearing her shoulders now.

It makes her feel nice. Makes her want to rip off her skin less. 

Only a couple more years before she can start hormones. 

(She’s counting the days.)

Cassie loves Rob, she really does.

But she also knows that he has this… reluctance to lead. As if he doesn’t really want to but does because it’s expected of him. 

She loves him, but she also really wants to win this thing. 

“Robin! A second of your time…?”

He walks over to her with a smile. It makes the thing in her stomach unclench a little bit.

“What’s up, Wonder Girl?” 

“I just… I wanted to make sure we’re okay. You and me.” 

“Because you’re in charge and I’m not?”

“Well… yeah,” She crosses her arms to try to hide the shaking in her hands. “It’s just that I respect you so much, and I was a latecomer to the team, and I--”

“Cass,” He puts his hands on her shoulders. “You earned it. Knock ‘em dead.”

Her eyes grow wide. “Really?”

“Yeah.” 

“Do leaders hug?” She doesn’t wait for his answer before pulling him in and wrapping her arms around him.

“They’ve been known to,” He tells her, a smile evident in his voice. “Just not in front of the troops.”

Her stomach settles. 

(She doesn’t need anyone’s opinions, especially a boy’s.

But she’d be lying if she said his words didn’t make her feel a bit more like a wonder.)

She gathers the team into an empty room and hope’s she’s not making a mistake. 

Aware of the eyes on her, Cassie takes a breath. 

“I’m trans.”

Robin frowns, making her heart jackhammer in her ribcage. 

“Like, you’re a trans woman or have we been misgendering you this entire time?” 

She lets out a nervous chuckle. “Trans woman.”

He leans back in his seat. “Oh, okay.”

Her eyebrows meet her hairline. “That’s it?”

Kon raises one of his own. “Is there supposed to be more?”

She hurriedly shakes her head, a grin starting to form.

She sees Bart shrug. “Gender isn’t really a thing in the future, we were all kinda too worried about dying than about what was in someone’s pants.”

They all stare at him. 

“What?”

She can’t help but tell Tim off for the whole “Mr. Sarcastic” get up. She knows that, logically, it’s so no one finds out that the Gotham urban legends aren’t so urban but it’s still a stupid disguise. 

Honestly, she thought they were done with the whole “shaved head” thing after Bart did it and hated it.

(She tries to ignore how shocked Rob was when she pointed out that Robin was like a character he plays, that it’s likely not his norm, as if he thinks that she wouldn’t notice. 

As if she wouldn’t care. 

Because if she thinks about it for too long, thinks about how his surprise is a bit telling. How it suggests that she’s one of the first to look deeper than what was on the surface, well. Then she’ll want to hit something.)

Kon kisses her.

And she kisses back. 

Greta’s alive again, Robin’s real name is Tim Drake, Slobo is gone, and Anita’s formerly dead parents are now babies.

Cassie wonders how this became her life.

(Then decides that the chaos is what keeps her here.

Without it, her life would be plain boring and, frankly, why would ever she want that?)

(Maybe she spoke too soon.)

Omen’s heart stops with the loud crack of her neck. 

Bart’s knocked unconscious from a punch from the Superman android that slammed him into a wall.

And Donna-

Oh God, DONNA-

It's raining when Cassie visits Donna’s grave, a bouquet of flowers in her hand.

She crouches down to place the flowers next to the headstone when suddenly everything seems to hit her. 

Young Justice and the Titans are disbanded. Omen is dead. Donna, her big sister, is dead. 

She wouldn’t be able to stop the tears if she had tried.

She hears footsteps behind her causing her to stand and turn around quickly. 

Roy Harper is standing a couple feet in front of her. It’s obvious that he hadn’t expected to see Cassie by the look on his face.

She watches him take the scene in. The flowers next to the (her-) grave, Cassie’s clenched fists, the tears on her face being washed away by the rain. 

He opens his mouth to speak before abruptly closing it and holding open his arms in an invitation instead.

A beat.

She accepts and presses her face into his chest as his arms wind around her, trying to comfort her. 

(He loved her too, after all.

In a different way, but he still loved her.)

She couldn’t tell if the droplets onto her hair was the rain or his tears.

The Teen Titans were reformed. Cassie, Tim, Bart, and Kon all joined. 

(Cassie hopes that wherever Donna is, she's proud of her.)

Her hair goes down to her back. 

She’s on hormones now. 

She still has days filled with dysphoria that make her want to rip her skin off but it helps.

It helps.

Kon is a clone of not only Superman, but also Lex Luthor. 

Cassie’s not sure how she feels about that. 

She doesn’t get long to think about it before he’s being mind controlled and attacking the team.

He breaks Tim’s arm. 

(He’s never going to forgive himself.)

He quits the team for a bit. He comes back eventually but he still quits and becomes a farm boy for a while.

(Why does everyone keep leaving-?)

Tim goes next. His dad finds out.

He’s not happy.

He comes back too. Say’s he’s been at this too long to quit now. 

(She can still see how the guilt of disobeying his dad clings to him like a shroud.

She doesn’t bring it up.

Even after his dad’s funeral. Just hugs him tight in an effort to glue back some of his cracks.)

(She definitely spoke too soon.)

Kon’s dead. His body laying in a crater made after Superboy Prime put him there. 

(Tim starts wearing red and black to honor him. Cassie joins him by wearing a Wonder Woman T-shirt and jeans, similar to Kon’s own outfit.)

She can’t hear her boy’s (because that’s what they are, her boys. That’s what Kon was-) hearts break over her own shattering.

Bart goes next. 

He takes what was left of their sun with him.

(stopleavingstopleavingstopleavingpleasedontleaveme-)

Statues are built to honor them. They’re golden and smiling. Kon’s own is next to Superman.

(It makes her feel bitter. It’s as if they didn't even care about how Superman had treated Kon. Didn't even try to help.)

She tries not to look at them.

She attempts to bring Kon back. Joins a cult and everything.

She fails.

She kisses Tim. They’re underneath the Tower, both grieving. 

They both know it was a mistake.

She puts herself back together slowly, piece by piece.

She refuses to let herself break again.

She’s at lunch with Cissie and Anita when it hits her.

“When I saw Conner again...I mean, when I saw Hercules disguised as Conner...I can’t....I can’t describe what I felt.” She stops for a moment.

“...It was disbelief and...I was happy and it was surreal. And deep down inside I knew it was too good to be true.” She stops again.

“But?” Cissie prompts.

“But as mad as I was at Hercules for pulling that crap...I wasn’t...I mean, I should’ve been… I could've been wrecked that it wasn’t Conner, that he was still...gone. But...look at me. I’m not a big mess…”

Cissie smiles at her. “It’s okay, I think it just means you’re really over him. And you’re allowed. And it doesn't mean what you had together was anything else than it was.”

Anita throws an arm over Cassie’s shoulder. “Life goes on, right?”

Yeah.

Life goes on.

The furies kidnap her mom.

(She’s going to rip them apart for even daring to put a single finger on her.)

Cassie hugs her mom tight when she rescues her. 

(There won’t be a next time.

Not if Cassie has anything to say about it.)

Tim leaves, too. 

He’s wearing a black cowl and a tainted name when he does. 

He’s gone, chasing a dead man.

It hurts, but she won’t break. She refuses.

Her heart cracks. But it doesn’t shatter. 

(He’s gone, but he’ll come back. He’s too much of a Gothamite to stay down. Too much of a Robin.

Just look at Jason Todd.)

Kon and Bart come back. 

She doesn’t really understand how but she also doesn’t really care.

They’re back. 

That’s all that matters. 

(She tries to pretend that there’s not a fourth piece missing. 

It doesn't work very well.)

She’s in her room in Titans Tower when Kon comes to find her.

They stand a couple feet apart, staring at each other. 

His hair is longer, closer to how it was when he was still wearing a leather jacket out into the field. He had pierced his ear, the small golden hoop flashing in the sunlight. 

(He holds himself differently than he had before. His shoulders tall but not tight, his grin relaxed and sunny. He seems more comfortable in his skin than she’s ever seen him be, more at peace.

A small part of her brain says that his death must have made him realize some things, as it did for her. 

She tells it to fuck off.)

Cassie decides to bite the bullet.

“I don’t love you that way anymore.”

Kon stares at her. Blinks. Smiles.

“I don’t love you like that anymore, either.” Her shoulders relax. 

He pulls her into him, wrapping his arms around her. She rests her head on his shoulder and she grips onto his shirt.

(It’s different from how Roy had hugged her. 

Less desperation and comfort, more relaxed. 

It’s different but still good.)

“So, does this mean you’re finally gonna ask Tim out when he comes back?” She asks, teasing.

“Shut up, Cassie.”

She laughs and for the first time in a while, it’s almost completely care-free. 

She was right. 

Tim comes back. He’s skinnier than he should be, new scars decorating his skin. 

He’s got a haunted look in his eyes and proof on his fingertips. 

He tries to apologize for leaving and she for not believing him. 

Cassie hugs him and tries to ignore how tight his grip on her is. 

(She ignores how he’s trying to see if she’s still there. 

Still alive.)

And if tears were shed into each other’s hair, if their grips get impossibly tighter? 

Well. 

That’s between the two of them.

Tim asks for their help. Asks them to each protect a person on a list. 

Cassie gets Barbara Gordon. 

(She tries to ignore the butterflies in her stomach at the thought of getting to meet the original Batgirl.)

She squeals to herself about it in her room later.

Barbara Gordon is even more of a badass than she expected. 

When Cassie makes it to her, there are several ninja laying on the ground at Barbara’s feet.

The woman’s shirt is ripped and missing a sleeve but she overall looks relatively unscathed. Not a hair out of place, glasses still perched perfectly on her nose.

When Tim calls to check on them, Cassie can only say one thing.

“Barbara Gordon is, well...She kind of saved herself.”

(So cool.)

Bruce Wayne is alive.

He’s hugging his sons like he never wants to let them go.

(She can see Tim’s smile from where she’s standing next to Diana.)

The sun shines brighter than before.

The Teen Titans gain some new members. 

Miguel Barragan, also known as Bunker, can construct purple blocks out of energy. They take any shape he wants and match his costume.

(She wonders if he controls their colors or if they’re just purple and he wanted to match them.)

The new Robin, Damian Wayne, joins as well. 

He’s a brat that thinks himself better than everyone else, senior members included.

(She tells Grayson off for this. He asks her to try and get along with him. 

She’s not sure she’s ever hated the cowl more than she does in that moment.)

Finally, there’s Tanya Spears. The new Power Girl.

She has brown skin and even darker brown eyes. Her hair is a dark brown and pulled back. She’s buff and doesn’t take anyone’s shit. Her abilities include super-strength, invulnerability, and the ability to make herself as tall as a building. 

(Cassie tries not to pay any mind to how her heart seems to skip a beat when meeting Tanya.

Much like every other time, she doesn't succeed.)

Cassie’s hair is pulled into a messy bun atop her head while she beats the shit out of a punching bag when Tanya enters the training room.

She watches out of the corner of her eye as Tanya wraps her hands and goes ham on one of the bags some feet away. Her biceps flex with every punch thrown.

With a swallow, Cassie turns back to her own bag.

(She’s totally fucked.)

The team all go to a pride parade in support, having many LGBTQ+ members on the team. 

Cassie wears a trans flag like a cape and takes pictures with others like her when asked. 

Miguel wears a rainbow suit. It looks amazing on him, as does his beaming grin.

Bart runs around with an aromantic and asexual flag painted on each of his cheeks. He twirls her in a circle with a laugh while she tries not to lose her lunch.

She even sees Tim and Kon holding hands at one point. 

(She makes a mental note to herself to tease them later.)

It’s a great day.

Cassie’s taking a breather after a battle when someone breaks through the crowd and calls her the T-slur. He sneers at her as if she hadn’t just saved him from attack robots.

Just as she’s about to fly off a small body moves past her.

The man’s nose breaks with a satisfying crunch when the new Robin’s fist meets it.

(Maybe the little twirp isn’t so bad after all.)

Cassie is avoiding Tanya. She knows it. 

(Tanya also likely knows it if the hurt looks sent Cassie’s way are any indication.)

She doesn’t mean to, well. Okay. she kind of means to. It's just.

Ugh.

How is Cassie supposed to function when Tanya’s muscles flex when lifting or punching something? How is she supposed to function when Tanya gets this satisfied smirk on her face when she helps Tim figure out something that's been busting his ass for days? How is she supposed to function when Tanya gets that smile on her face that heats up Cassie’s face? Or when she laughs and makes Cassie’s stomach have a party? When she giggles? When she snorts then tries to pretend she didn’t? When her tongue peeks out when she's thinking?

How is Cassie supposed to function when Tanya is right fucking there?

It’s ridiculous, really, to expect Cassie to be able to function correctly when Tanya Spears exists.

Eventually, Tanya gets fed up. 

(Cassie did mention that she doesn't take anyone's shit, right?)

She corners Cassie in a storage closet, stands in front of the door to keep her from leaving. 

(And here Cassie thought she’d never have to be in the closet again.)

“What’s your deal, Cass?” Tanya demands, hurt and infuriated.

In a smaller voice she asks, “What did I do?” Her hands are tucked under her arms, eyes sad. 

Cassie hates herself for making Tanya have that look on her face, for making her seem so defeated.

Cassie sighs. “You didn’t do anything.”

Tanya glares at her. “Yeah? Then why are you avoiding me? You don’t just avoid someone for no reason.”

Cassie doesn't know what to say.

Sorry, you’re just really sweet and pretty to the point of making me want to punch something? You’re so, so brilliant you make me want to write stories about you? You make me smile even when all I want to do is curl up in bed and cry? You make me feel comfortable in my own skin? Like I have nothing to prove to you? 

“That’s a good start,” Tanya whispers, leaning towards her. 

Cassie’s eyes widen and she claps a hand over her mouth. 

“I said that out loud?” Cassie gasps, voice tight.

Tanya smiles at her, oh so kind in a way that makes Cassie want to scream. She moves closer to Cassie, eyes sparkling. Cassie bites the inside of her cheek.

“You think all that stuff about me?” 

Cassie can’t meet her eyes, instead looking at the duster over Tanya’s shoulder. She swallows audibly when Tanya moves even closer, pinning Cassie in between the wall and herself.

“Hard not to,” Cassie mutters, not missing the way Tanya’s eyes dance down to her lips. 

“Yeah?” Tanya questions, voice breathy.

“Yeah,” Cassie croaks.

Tanya tastes like strawberry chapstick and vanilla ice cream. One of her hands latch onto Cassie’s shirt while the other tangles itself into her hair, tilting Cassie’s head up a bit in search of a better angle.

Cassie’s own scratch at the wall behind her before grabbing onto Tanya’s hips, pulling her impossibly closer.

They part, panting. Tanya stares into Cassie’s eyes and Cassie into her’s.

A beat.

They both burst into laughter. 

Pressing her forehead to Cassie’s, Tanya breathes. 

“Yeah?”

Yeah.

Tanya and Cassie walk into the restaurant, hand in hand. 

Cassie sneaks a glance over at Tanya. Her girlfriend (girlfriend!) was gazing in front of them, a small smile gracing her face.

Cassie swears she could write sonnets about that face. How the expressions on it change at the drop of a hat, how she has dimples when she smiles. How her eyebrows scratch when frustrated, how the corner of her eyes crinkle when she’s happy.

Cassie loved Tanya Spears so much she could barely breathe. 

(And it wasn’t just because Tanya had kissed all the air out of her lungs, leaving Cassie’s lips bruised. 

That was just an added bonus.)

They find Tim and Kon seated at a table near the back, in what seems to be a heated debate. 

As she gets closer, she starts to be able to pick out what they’re saying.

“-the first Wendy season was by far the best and you know it!” Conner declares, glaring at Tim.

Tim glares back. “Like hell I do, the third season was so much better. The character arcs? Iconic. The outfits? Outstanding. The-”

Conner cuts him off. “You’re just saying this because you’re in love with Jordan Fisher.”

Tim sniffs. “Can you blame me?”

As she and Tanya sit, Conner reluctantly sighs. “No.”

Cassie laughs, joyous and euphoric.

(Her name is Cassandra Sandsmark, her friends call her Cassie.

She’s Wonder Girl.)


End file.
